We Are Family

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of child abuse and physical abuse.

We Are Family indicates that people don’t achieve without effort. To reach their goals, people must constantly work at them and stay composed in adverse situations. Summarizing the lesson, Roddy tells Jayden, “The main thing is that you gotta know how to see a challenge and keep driving to the goal anyway” (31). This philosophy underscores the novel’s central message: Persistence and self-discipline are the foundation of personal and collective success. Every Hoop Group member must face a “challenge.” The obstacle isn’t exceptional but a regular part of their lives. Thus, Jayden practices basketball every day, Tamika combats her father’s constant cynicism, Anthony deals with his anger issues, Chris confronts his exploitative father, and Dex must take care of himself while his mother works. Though all the young people waver, they ultimately put Roddy’s advice into practice. They stick with basketball and Hoop Group, and their dedication delivers their goal—winning the Fall Invitational Tournament.

In the story, persistence and self-control don’t automatically happen. At various times, the young characters give into difficulty or decouple the two traits, demonstrating one but not the other. The novel challenges the idea that resilience is innate, showing instead that it is developed through repeated failure and recalibration. When playing against Tamika for the first time, Jayden keeps his physical toughness, but he loses his mental composure. Coach Beck tells him, “[Y]ou didn’t lose because of your game. You lost because of your emotions” (63). Tamika, too, falters when only Dex and Anthony show up for tryouts and when her father is in the hospital. Chris remains dedicated to basketball, but he can’t control his insecurities, leading to toxic boasting. Anthony can’t manage his anger, though his will to write never vanishes. Dex aside, the Hoop Group members reveal that discipline and endurance are a process; even when a person earnestly practices them, they’re not guaranteed to be there. By showcasing their struggles, the novel suggests that setbacks are not failures but opportunities for growth.

To be a functional team, the Hoop Group members must control their conflicts. When they antagonize one another, they lose their will and jeopardize the cohesiveness of the team. Tamika, Dex, and Anthony work as a team because they get along. After Anthony confides in Tamika about his life, Anthony feels the “gravity of Tamika’s judgment-free acceptance” (119). Dex, too, accepts Anthony even when Anthony loses his calm and attacks Dex for reading his notebook. Dex tells Anthony, “I’m not your freakin’ enemy. I’m on your team” (177). These moments highlight the novel’s assertion that resilience is not solely an individual trait but a communal one—growth and persistence are strengthened by supportive relationships. As Chris learns to restrain his flaws, he becomes a reliable team member, and once Jayden recommits to Hoop Group, he’s a tenacious contributor. Since Hoop Group wins the tournament only after all five members earnestly practice equilibrium and resolve, the story indicates that team members must have composure and resistance for the overall team to succeed.