Becoming

Michelle undergoes some big changes in Chapter 6: leaving Chicago, moving away from home, and going to Princeton. Perhaps one of the biggest changes that Michelle couldn’t anticipate was the feeling of being Othered. In such a predominantly white, male school filled with people from wealthy backgrounds, Michelle stands out on all three counts, being black, female, and from a working-class family. Michelle uses her experiences at Princeton to address some of the issues of higher education. At most universities, not just Princeton, most of the student body is white. As a result, minority students often feel like they are outsiders, a feeling aggravated by the fact that many have not had the same advantages as their white peers: “So many of us arrived at college not even aware of what our disadvantages were. You learn only slowly that your new peers had been given SAT tutoring or college-caliber teaching in high school” (74).

Already starting far behind their privileged peers, minority students are asked to navigate huge social and cultural shifts by going into largely white college communities, all while trying to stay afloat academically and prove they belong at the university. Michelle compares it to her first piano recital, where she suddenly realized she couldn’t find middle C on a piano without broken keys: “Your world shifts, but you’re asked to adjust and overcome, to play your music the same as everyone else” (74). These setbacks often lead to many minority students feeling like they don’t belong in the university environment, a feeling only compounded by the suggestion that they only got into university because of affirmative action. Michelle is a smart, capable student who went on to become the First Lady of the United States, but even she faced these challenges while in the university environment. By sharing these experiences, Michelle sheds light on the difficulties faced by minority students in the hopes that others won’t have to face the same struggles.

In Chapter 7, Michelle reflects on the importance of not being so focused on a set future that one misses other opportunities. Taking the time to explore life outside of college and discover where one’s talents fit is a process that Michelle refers to as “swerving.” Michelle compares her experience of going straight into law school and then straight into a law firm with the trajectory of her college boyfriend, Kevin. Kevin dreams of becoming a professional mascot, delaying his plans for medical school to pursue this passion. At the time, Michelle believes this is irresponsible, pointless behavior: “Why, when you could be in medical school, would you be a dog who does handsprings?” (89). Kevin does go on to become a doctor, and his ambitions to become a professional mascot don’t seem to have been successful; from the outside, his time spent swerving might look like failure.

However, with some hindsight, Michelle believes that it’s important for people, like Kevin, to follow a different path if that’s where they feel compelled to go. Kevin still achieved his goal of becoming a doctor, but he allowed himself the freedom to try something different and unexpected for a short time in his life. In contrast, Michelle becomes consumed with “climbing my ladder, which was sturdy and practical and aimed straight up” (90). At the time, Michelle believed she was being practical and responsible, but now she acknowledges how much of her life she lived for the approval of others. Though Michelle achieves what she wanted to achieve, she locks herself into a career that doesn’t fulfill her because she believes it’s what others expect her to do.

Meeting Barack Obama changes Michelle’s perspective, forcing her to loosen up her tight control over her life. In some ways, Barack and Michelle are opposites of each other. Michelle has always been an overachiever, working hard to attain her goals and surpass the expectations that others have for her. Barack is also strongly motivated, but he seems less compelled by what others want him to do: He is focused on his own self-envisioned path. Their upbringings have provided them with different experiences, from Michelle’s South Side childhood to Barack’s experiences in Hawaii and Indonesia. However, the two initially bond over their shared experience of being one of a small group of African American attorneys, as well as being in the racial minority at their respective Ivy League schools: “Our pull toward each other was evident and easy to understand” (98). Having this common ground as a starting point allows Michelle to get to know Barack as a friend first before considering him as a romantic prospect, which helps her to see his differences for the assets they can be.

While Michelle has always taken comfort and security in her clear life trajectory, Barack seems to be “on some sort of quest, though he didn’t yet know where it would lead” (101). Though certain aspects of his laidback attitude can be perplexing and even frustrating to Michelle, she soon realizes it also gives him the freedom to choose for himself. For example, Barack suggests to Michelle that they leave the performance of Les Misérables early because they aren’t enjoying it. Agreeing to do so is out of character for Michelle, who usually would endure misery “for the sake of appearances” (104); Barack’s philosophy, on the other hand, is that he shouldn’t spend his time doing something he isn’t enjoying. Though Michelle fears that Barack will be “like a wind that threatened to unsettle everything” (105), she also anticipates that he can encourage her to change her life for the better.